Control Vs. Chemistry
By Deborah Pope

“...Until the school years rolled in, I managed my child’s friendships. I planned our time with my mommy friends and their children. These days, I’m hoping those years set the wheels in motion for my daughter to move on with healthy, positive relationships. As a stay-at-home mom, I admit I’ve owned quite a bit of control over my young one. Perhaps it’s natural that I’d choose not to hold an outside job, not wanting to give up too much authority on the family front. Chemistry, however, may be tough for parental control to defeat…”
 

FRIENDLY FODDER - 2006

We’ve Got Friends
By Marilyn Nave

“… It is said that the best way to teach children what matters is to embody the values you wish to impart. I thrill at the prospect of my sons having generous helpings of the friend-making gene, even though I lack such. My husband has loads of friends and acquaintances. I don’t. It’s hard for me to cultivate adult friendships. Working outside the home, parenting and managing a household seem to occupy all my time…”

THINGS THAT GO BUMP
IN THE NIGHT (AND DAY)  - 2003

Monsters in Her Bed, Monsters in My Head
By Deborah Pope

“… My fears have likely quadruped since the birth of our daughter. Those creepy pests that worm their way into my head, only to shed darkness on my otherwise beautiful and bright world, can attack day or night. They make their presence most known when insecurities occasionally control my state of mind. My daughter recently woke up in the middle of the night and was pulling out all the stops trying to convince me to stay with her in her room. She claimed there were “little monsters” in her bedroom. In rare top form, I quickly suggested we “blow them away on the count of three.” We did just that and she relaxed into a deep sleep once again. If only I could so simply banish from my head the thoughts that scare me. It’s as if they are living, breathing monsters! I often lie awake at night masked in worry over much in our lives, knowing I could alleviate some of my anxiety by working full-time outside the home…”

THINGS THAT GO BUMP
IN THE NIGHT (AND DAY)  - 2003

The Trick of Making Motherhood a Treat
By Marilyn Nave

“… Am I sacrificing true well being on the altar of my quest for self-identification? Exaggerated self-importance? Perhaps. I used to sleep like a baby before I had babies. The dust hasn’t even cleared after a particularly long day at the office when my mind starts scratching at this ticklish dilemma. My daily choice about what we’ll have to put off until tomorrow or the next day, or the next week or the next calendar year, is usually a no-brainer. For instance, I haven’t filed any of my personal paperwork for years. My house is in a steady state of “kind of” clean. I haven’t exercised this week. Time with friends has been postponed indefinitely; books go unread for months at a time. No time today to organize a purse stuffed with receipts and bills to be paid. My checkbook is held together with a rubber band. But what else am I giving short shift in my decision to work outside the home and have a family? That rubber band metaphor, for instance. Am I holding it all together in a balancing act of sheer determination that, at times, feels as delicate as a spider’s thread? …”

Rounding Out the Holidays
By Deborah Pope

“… It probably took three years into parenthood for me to realize that as one who doesn’t report to work, I over-optimistically estimated our “free time.” I even thought we had more energy than we could actually muster, and so I over-scheduled, over-committed, and over-tired my family – especially at the holidays. Plus, I’ve been known to overeat my way through the seasonal stress.

This season certainly defines dichotomy. How can we whole-heartedly wish peace and joy upon our neighbors when we cannot manage to achieve it ourselves?…”

DECEMBER MADNESS

Two Timing the Holidays
By Marilyn Nave

“… At the time of year when I could really use a few days away from work, my workload invariably increases. Decision makers of any importance take off early for the holidays, but my deadline is rock solid. Thankfully I work for a small company, so that gift list is blessedly short, and so far have resisted over-thinking what to give the boss – usually a gift certificate, printed online. Add to the list: teachers, room mothers, school secretaries and the PTA president, and I’ve barely the strength left to attend the local performance of “The Nutcracker.” Midnight mass? Fugetaboutit…”